Forgiveness

Forgiveness- the attribute of the strong!

One fine morning, when I woke up I could feel light on my own shoulder. As if a burden is off my shoulders. As I was sipping my cup of coffee, seeing the birds fly in the sky from my balcony, a thought struck my mind! Why do I feel so ecstatic today? Let me guess! What could it be? It was nothing but Forgiveness!

What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is an intention to let go bitterness. Forgiveness is a decision to release feelings of resentment or towards a person or group who has spoke some negative about you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. Yes, this is a small choice which gave me more happiness than hogging my McD burger.

 It’s often said, that you can’t make someone forgive you. What is less often said is that you cannot make yourself forgive someone. Forgiveness is a process, and sometimes an elusive one. We’ve all had someone do something wrong to us. Sometimes an apology goes a long way in relieving our feelings of anger and hurt. Other times our anger over wrongdoing done to us is exacerbated by the absence of an apology, making forgiveness all the harder to achieve.

As the alternative to all these bitterness or break down, we have to put into motion the wheel of forgiveness.

Why should we forgive?

We should forgive because it sets us free; it helps us move forward in life, it helps us to heal. It removes anger and malice from our heart because it is the best revenge. Most importantly, we are no longer giving someone else authority over our mind and heart. Isn’t it life’s greatest teacher?

There are lot of  benefits to forgive, they include reducing anger, hurt, depression and stress, while increasing feelings of optimism, hope, compassion, self–efficacy, conflict resolution skills and confidence.

Forgiveness is one of the qualities of leaders and strong personalities. It makes us a bigger person.

"Forgiveness is a bold leadership skill".

When leaders work, they feel it’s important to remember that those other people are human. They’re going to make mistakes.

At the end of the day, if we remember that those other people are human beings and all of us are flawed. Life becomes easy.

This is why forgiveness is one of the key components to good leadership and management.

Everybody makes mistakes and mistakes. Remember it is not the end of life, it’s just part of life and they teach us and make you a better person.

Gandhi ji named it “the attribute of the strong.”  For centuries, great minds and artists have sung the praises of the practice of forgiveness, and now science seems to have caught up with what the soulful have long suspected: forgiveness is good for us. It is an act of love and strength - a gift from which no one benefits more than us.

Angulimala –Buddha’s disciple was previously a robber and murder but with the help of Buddha’s teaching he changed, still people threw stones at him. He had bruises all over his body. When someone saw him and asked, ‘What has happened?’ But he was still so peaceful and he had a smile on his face. People said, ‘Here is someone who has come to help somebody, and then he was hit with stones and has been hurt. But he was never hurt from inside, he was still smiling.’ And when someone asked him, ‘How come you are smiling?’ He said, ‘See, these people are showing how much anguish and tension they have gone through in their life. But for this supreme Knowledge, I would have remained like this and I would have made them angrier. I have created this anguish in them. And now that is being exhibited.’ 

He persisted and when people saw that there is no reaction from Angulimala and that he is still smiling, still calm, and still so peaceful. That’s when they started coming back to him. When you don’t react, people get more interested. Because everyone feels normal when the reaction comes – they feel peaceful and happy. But when the other person does not react, it pinches them somewhere. Similarly, when you forgive, you heal , when you let go, you

Grow!

             

This is one story which helped to have a different perspective on life. It helped me understand why forgiveness is important. So instead of reacting let us be in peace and forgive people not because they deserve it because you deserve to stay in peace.

 Forgiveness is not only good for our mental health but also for physical health. It can even improve our physical health with some studies suggesting it reduces hypertension. Study results indicating that “people who are forgiving tend to have not only less stress but also better relationships, fewer general health problems and lower incidences of the most serious illnesses--including depression, heart disease, stroke and cancer.” 

As I was thinking of all upsides of forgiveness, it helped me analyze how I could forgive. How I could let go a heavy stone of anger, ego, pain, hatred and grudge from my heart? 

How to forgive someone?

I never knew it would be so simple.

                                      

Put yourself in the shoes of the other individual: you never know what went wrong, why did the person do something wrong? What was his intention at first place? Did he really mean to do it or it was just accidental? Sometimes it might not be the person; it might just be the situation. The best thing we can do is to be ignorant of such incidents and let go. Don’t give such space to such kind of negativity. The happiness of our life depends on the quality of our thoughts. We will grow when we place our thoughts and time on the right thing.

Focus on yourself. If your heart does not feel the generosity of forgiveness toward your offender for their sake, then concentrate on the good that forgiveness will do for you, and consider that by giving into negative emotions you are still allowing that person to win the fight. Don’t let darkness overcome the light. Stay on a greater journey of self-evolvement. Show the person who betrayed you that you are better than their forces of their negativity. Make vengeance in this case truly sweet. A happier life will be your reward.

Look onward and upward. If you cannot bring yourself to forget and move on from the hurt inflicted on you, do your best to look forward instead of backward. Redirect the energy of your anger toward a new goal. Pursue a passion or dream that you have put off, even a small goal, perhaps learning a new skill,, conquering a new technology, taking up a new sport, or volunteering your time to a worthy cause. The distraction will do you good, and you just may find a new source of happiness and connection or even prosperity, and you may do others good as well.

Learn a lesson. Write off your bad experience to a valuable education in whatever arena the offense occurred. If you were taken advantage of by a business partner, then glean what lessons you can regard how you got yourself into a compromising position, and be aware of this and apply it to your future endeavors. Likewise in a relationship, if you ignored red flags, tolerated intolerable behavior, or somehow set yourself up for this incident to happen, take note. Do not let this happen again. Be proactive in dealing with the next similar situation or get out of the relationship before you become a victim again. Consider the treachery a service that will help you head off a more emotionally or financially costly mistake in the future.

Take responsibility. Ultimately, we all make our own choices. Whatever position you found yourself in, and whomever you chose to associate with, and whatever decisions you made that got you into this state, you put yourself there and made those decisions yourself, unless someone held a gun to your head. Realizing that you made the decisions puts the control back in your hands. But rather than be angry at yourself for your mistakes, know that you in fact you have control, which is empowering, and this will help you in the future to help yourself.

LASTLY, I WOULD LIKE TO CONCLUDE:

These maybe simple steps but it will make a great human being. I feel life is too short to hold on to grudges. It is true we are born alone and die alone but from birth to death there are other people carrying us so instead carrying a burden of sorrow let’s free ourselves from clutches of insanity, be optimistic and spread positivity . Let’s learn to forgive and when we are in the same room, we exchange a smile or cheer a cup of coffee.

This is Mujeebuddin Shaik signing off!

The CEO and Founder of Clinosol Private Limited.

Thank you.